The Art of Getting Offended
What is an offense, really?
What is an offense?
Basically, it’s the inner or external factors claimed to undermine a subject’s ego caused by the object’s actions.
The ease by which human beings get offended is sometimes just amazing. The worst part is 80–90% of the time the first person (unconscious offender) isn’t even intending to offend the second person (offended). It’s the offended person’s own thought process that creates offense out of something the other person did, an intuitive spur of the moment selfish act of pleasing/amusing his or her own self.
The general ego of every human being takes offense at itself just as easily, frequently and involuntarily as a wave is created in the ocean.
Many times, it can be established that the offender did know that the offended will take offense of his or her action, but innocently or deliberately still continues to act upon his or her instincts as - first, it is the easier way of dealing with the situation (less effort), secondly, sometimes to satisfy their own ego ( the act of claiming supremacy or flaunting themselves for appreciation) and thirdly but definitely not the last, underestimating the level of offense it will cause to the second person.
The reason behind the offense is the unfulfillment of one's desires, estimation of the situation or simply caught by surprise on the negative side of the aisle. It is worsened by the human nature of self-pity, always seeing oneself in the right and tendency of gathering sympathy ( I wish to understand the reason behind these human behaviors).
But it turns grave due to the bias produced by the thing called ego when a person takes it personally and feels diminished in the eyes of others, especially the ones the second person finds menial or holds him/herself at a high by the virtue of comparison based on the standards set by the social system.
Hypothesis
The second person’s knowledge of the first person’s awareness of causing offense and still continuing with the act multiples the level of offense.
The consequences of getting offended can not discuss in detail as they range from breaking friendships, marriages, mass massacres to who knows, holocaust, starting world wars.
One way of reducing the act of taking offence and reducing the whole lot of unnecessary waste of energy is to question the WHY and try to UNDERSTAND.
Questioning of why by the offended person behind a simple offensive action of the first person can lead the offended person to investigate the thought process and circumstances, which can further lead to understanding the reason behind the action.
To the heavy side, the reason will be either basic human virtue/ involuntary instinct which is then either hereditary or a part of the core of subconscious formed in childhood or lack of maturity/ presence of mind of calculating the consequences.
A simple example of unintentional action can be a rejection of food by a 3-year-old due to a lack of understanding of the effort and importance for the mother to feed her child. The same kid, when turned 24 and educated about the effort and importance, will not reject the meal irrespective of his/her inclinations for the food being served.
Conclusive note only points in one direction — having the patience of finding the reason behind the action.
